binary girl: the secret blog

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shh!

goodbye and good luck

October 30th, 2009 at 12:14

[A note I am working on to print out and present upon our moving out, which should happen in the next week or so:]

Ron and Mary Anne,

A collection of thoughts gathered from the last 2 years we’ve had the fortitude to be your neighbors:

– The street is public parking — this includes the street in front of your house. There’s no need to leave notes on the cars of people who park in front of your house for a few hours, making you unable to park there, because (gasp) they’re allowed to!

– Calling the sheriff every time you don’t get invited to a neighbor’s party, or when someone runs a saw at 7pm, does not ingratiate yourself with the sheriff’s department, or any of your neighbors.

– Relatedly, when we’re having a quiet dinner in our back yard, turning your jazz up inspires us to want to return the favor and have the sheriff visit you. We, however, being mature adults, swallow our petulance and enjoy the company we’ve invited over.

– Most of the world has to be at work by 8 in the morning. Clearly, you both enjoy a lifestyle which allows you to sleep much later than the typical working individual, of which we are envious. However, expecting the rest of the world to be silent until you choose to raise your pretty heads from your pillows is unrealistic, at best.

– DOGS BARK. You own a dog, you should be aware of this fact. Dog barking is acceptable; what is not acceptable is a person who doesn’t attempt to quiet their dog once it commences barking. It may surprise you, however, to find out that it’s not helpful, when trying to quiet a barking dog, for your neighbor to scream at it like an escaped mental patient — shockingly, that tends to further aggravate the dog!

Living next to you both has been an experience that we are (hopefully) soon to forget.
Alison, Brandon, and Katie

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