binary girl: the secret blog

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wedding post 2 (a series): The Bachelorette Party

September 1st, 2006 at 13:01


The Bachelorette Party, devised and executed by one Mrs. Caroline Bellach Quick

The bachelorette party, which was on Friday, August 11, actually started with Brandon and Jamie dropping me off at SFO so I could greet and escort the marvelous Laurie (otherwise known as userinfoseien, also known as Special Assistant to the Bride) to Caroline’s house. Things went a little more slowly than planned when a) the rental car was located at a lot further from the airport than anticipated, and b) there was crap traffic going onto the Bay Bridge. However, this gave Laurie a good opportunity to see why driving in the City can suck eggs (I was driving the car so she wouldn’t have to worry about it until her return from Santa Cruz) and also to look at the buildings and billboards that surround the 80 interchange.

We finally arrived at Caroline’s, where Jenna joined us before we sped off towards Marin, San Anslemo, and Comforts, a restaurant owned by the parents of a girl we attended high school with and also home to the most fabulous Chinese chicken salad dressing ever created. Sari and Elyssa were already sitting down (as we were late, thanks to the traffic mentioned earlier) and we all plopped down to scarf our food as quickly as possible before heading off for the next even on the adgenda: manicures and pedicures.

The nail place we went to, 4 Sisters in San Rafael, was nice, with one complaint: my french manicure literally started peeling off my hours after it dried. But, who cares? :) Caroline brought wine and Seegars (chocolate cigars from See’s candy) which we all enjoyed while we had our fingers and toes attended to. Sari’s mom, Frances, showed up, to see how we were doing and deliver a very, very cute Paul Frank sock monkey pillow. And then, we were done and off to our next point of interest! Ice cream!

Double Rainbow, on Fourth Street, happens to serve kosher ice cream, meaning that Jenna could partake of it. We beelined there and had a quick scoop (after photographing “Poop” and “Vagina” written in the sidewalk by some miscreants, which we thought funny enough to take a picture of — mainly because Andrea, my friend and coworker, uses “poop” constantly as one of her test queries on our system) before returning to Caroline’s house to dress for the evening’s events, which were a total surprise for me. (I mean TOTAL.) While we were doing so, Caroline handed out tequila shots and Casey showed up. Then we were off to San Francisco!

I think Caroline was expecting me to guess where we were going the entire time we were driving up to it and parking. However, after living in Madison, WI for five years, one sort of loses touch with the bar scene in San Francisco… and even when we were standing outside the door of the place, I had no idea what it was. The door swung open a little bit and I saw a woman dancing on a stage to “Oops, I Did It Again”, so I thought that maybe it was a karaoke bar…

…nope. It was Asia SF, San Francisco’s premier gender illusionist club! What? You don’t know what a gender illusionist is? Sweetie, I can’t help you there. (Okay, I can. Think transexual.) These ladies were HOT, too. Right, so we’re led downstairs all wide-eyed at the goings-on in the upstairs part of the club, to our own little area with our OWN dance pole! Awesome! Andrea, Sally, and Jackie (my Madison contingent of related beauties) were already there, awaiting us. We were brought asian-style tapas, and had many a tasty beverage (however, I did not get more than tipsy).

Highlights include:

  • Amber, Caroline, and I getting “blow job” shots from the bartender. He put it between his legs to get us to shoot it, but the minute he put his hand on the back of his head I shot up, downed it, and told him that any man who would do that deserves to have certain things bitten. Not cool. (BTW, Andrea bought me my first drink there: Trina’s Pussycat. Very classy, non?)
  • Mojitos from Elyssa! I drank one in honor of Brian on Family Guy.
  • Dancing our tushies off.
  • Meeting a guy at the bar who looked just like Peter Krause (Nate from “Six Feet Under”; Casey from “Sports Night”), who was on a backpacking bike trip.
  • Having a random drunk guy take pictures of us on the dance pole.
  • Cassandra. Sweet, sweet Cassandra, the lovely woman who pulled me up stage to do a dance thing with me and try to embarass me not only failed to do so, but was also lap-danced back into submission by me. Heh. Her breasts were like two hard plastic balls stuck under the skin of her chest, but she had really wildly fabulous hair.
  • Having Amy Hodges, someone I went to grade school with, recognize me post-stage and come and talk to me. That was a neato “small world” moment.
  • Lingere from Sari and Elyssa!
  • Watching the boys drool over my sister and cousin. Holy cow, those two together are trouble! (But, we learned that “nice breasts” apparently run in our family. At least, that’s what the guy said.)
  • Refusing the do the scavenger hunt past the “kiss the bartender” item. Now, had Caroline wrote it, I would be all about it; but, by this time, the downstairs bar was COMPLETELY packed and I was getting a little tired, Amber was drunken, and there were names of specific people I had to do things to, which was annoying because how was I supposed to figure out who those people were in a LOUD packed bar? Ugh. So I didn’t do it out of frustration. :)

We ended up leaving at a reasonable hour, mostly sober, because we knew that we would have to leave VERY early the next morning for the rehearsal, which was in Santa Cruz at 11 (formerly it would have been later, but there was a wedding that day so we had to get our stuffs together earlier). Amber was hilariously inebriated but darling. We all said our goodbyes and headed to sleep at Caroline’s house. (Laurie and I shared a bed! This would have been scandalous if it weren’t for the fact that she had to wake me up at one point because I was yelling in my sleep.)

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