binary girl: the secret blog



random pseudo-depth

November 7th, 2014 at 21:25

When I was talking to a person I’ve known for upwards of 20 years last month, I said something to him about how it must be odd to know someone as long as we’ve known each other and see that person go through so many rites of passage — college, marriage, kids. I made a comment about how the longer I’m alive, the more I understand a lot of context around the adults of my youth that I didn’t have back then, and how much more I respect the elder people around me (although to be fair, I’ve always thought that the older generations were pretty fantastic).

I feel essentially the same in my mid/late-30s that I felt in my early 20s. There is a sadness, though, and an appreciation, that I didn’t have before… that I can link directly to the number of sad or tragic things that have happened to/around me since I’ve aged. (I guess I could also correlate it with the happy things that have happened, as well…) And let me be totally clear — I have not had an abnormal amount of things happen around me on either side of the coin, I’m pretty much a statistical average on either side. The longer we’re alive, the more we, all of us, experience these crushingly sad things. I keep expecting that something magical will happen to make me into the person that I’ve always assumed that older people are, when the real realization is that older people ALSO feel this way — that myth of adulthood is really totally a myth. It makes me wonder how everyone who is older than I am is managing to stay upright under the weight of their (totally normal, average, but cumulative) pasts.

I should have titled this post, “Oh hey, look, another session of online navel gazing from someone who should know better.” Essentially, here’s the major shit I’ve learned in my life.
1: There’s no point in being alive. I don’t mean that in any depressing way; I just mean that we’re just a happy accident of evolution. Let’s use our intellect to not be a bunch of assholes and instead attempt to leave everything better than it was when we got here.
2: Love everyone you can while you have a chance, because people are amazing (see #1), but they’re fleeting.
3: #1 and #2 are NOT EASY THINGS.

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