binary girl: the secret blog



fists clenched

November 26th, 2013 at 14:23


This weekend we did a huge playdate for Jennifer in Castro Valley. It was totally amazing to see so many friends and little ones, and Lizz, who organized it with donations from Fresh and Easy markets as well as a local bouncy house rental and some volunteer princesses, did a fantastic job — my kids are still talking about how much fun they had and how they want to go back.

For my part, I really enjoyed myself. I had one off moment: I had walked over to a table to put a craft back (a frosting-covered ice cream cone Xmas tree that B put in the car and was melting, so I brought it back inside) when I saw a glut of blonde adorable children and said, “This must be the blonde coalition.” Then I walked away, turned around, and realized that it was JLK and her brothers. Somehow in my mind, even though I know she’s just turned 6, in photos she seems so much more mature, so it was striking to me just how very small she is. I instantly started sobbing, so I turned and ran into the bathroom so no one would see me. I ultimately had to wear sunglasses for a half hour afterward. But… she’s just a little girl. A baby. Thinking about her prognosis when being confronted physically with her was more than I could bear, and even though I talked to her later and was appropriately respectful of the fact that I’m a virtual stranger and she’s very shy, I wanted to bearhug the crap out of her. (I did do that to her mom, though.)

Ash started peeing blood on Sunday night, and seemed to be having some incontinence, so I thought he had a UTI and took him to the vet yesterday. The doctor immediately gave him an ultrasound after my description and found a sizable stone in his bladder, so this morning we had to bring him back for surgery. Poor little guy, he’s acting otherwise normal so I’m hoping he’s not in too much discomfort but I’m glad that this is a short week so we can spend some time with him at home when he comes back tonight. [Update!] He came through surgery fine and they’re going to send the stone out to a service that will analyze it. Oh boy! :P The doc wants to talk to me a little when I get him, which gives me a little trepidation, but hopefully it’s nothing serious.

And to top it all off, my carpal tunnel is back with a vengeance! WOO! I didn’t want to enjoy doing anything physical with my kiddos anyway.

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