My pregnancy-induced insomnia has been pretty consistent; usually I either can’t fall asleep, or wake up thanks to being in pain or needing to readjust (I wake up all the time in funny positions, mainly on my back, which makes me wonder how much snoring I’m doing these days… thank goodness B usually sleeps deeply ;) ), and then I just LIE THERE. FOR HOURS.
So last night I was totally sure I’d sleep lots because I was exhausted to the point of barely being able to stand (I had stayed up later than intended watching part of Pillars of the Earth — OMG IAN MCSHANE AS A PRIEST). So I climb in bed and conk out. And who kept me up all night?
NICKY.
I remember when people told me that I would love my kid way more than my dogs and I never agreed with them. Nicky and Ash were (and are, still, to an extent) my kids, and I care for them and love them deeply. I can’t deny, though, that they’ve gotten the short end of the stick w/r/t this baby thing; they may get a thousand times more food (Katie LOVES to feed them, even when we’re telling her to stop throwing her food at them), and she does cuddle and pet them, but they don’t get the attentions from Brandon and I that they used to. In fact, they make us angry WAY more than before; either they bark and wake Katie up, bark and scare her, or actively and remorselessly steal her food and make her burst into tears.
And then, at night … Nicky has started doing things (like insisting that I wake up and physically put him in bed with us, which makes no sense because he can jump into the bed with ease and it’s nigh impossible for me to move in bed without agonizing pain so I can’t easily jump out, pick him up, and throw him back in bed) that are constantly waking me up and making it impossible for me to rest. This was problematic back when K wasn’t sleeping through the night; it was problematic when she was sleeping in our room and their constant restlessness would wake her up (and one of the reasons we never really co-slept — between the dogs and Brandon it’s amazing anyone ever gets any sleep in our bed); and now it’s problematic that my insomnia is in full-swing.
It makes me feel a little guilty. At the same time, I don’t know what to do about it, because the dogs don’t seem to GET it — when Brandon gets seriously angry at them for walking up to her while she’s eating something and fairly yanking it from her grasp, they look contrite for about 2 seconds before they’re hovering over her again. Sometimes I’ll end up putting them outside while she does the wandering snacking thing (which means that they’re standing there, pawing at the glass door, wanting to come back in the entire time), but it’s not always convenient. I have consistently been making an effort to give them lots of attention after K goes to bed, to try to make up for the fact that they’re getting less cuddles nowadays, but at the same time, I wish I could shake them and have a real heart-to-heart about how I need them to behave in order to make our relationship better at this stage. That, or I wish I could hogtie them out in the shed. ;)
