Last week, Katie came home with holes in her leggings. I asked her what had happened, and she told me she used scissors to cut holes in them, to show people she “had lived a dangerous life.”
I know that there are important times as a parent when your kid comes to you with ridiculously childlike, adorable comments, and you want to be moved to laughter, but you realize that your 6-year-old is deadly serious and that you have to NOT choose this as the moment that you teach them that their upper/middle-class life in a suburb is decidedly not dangerous. So, I did the responsible mom move and choked down my snort as I told her that I understood that she wanted to go for a new look. She looked at me, deadly serious, and said, “Mommy, we have to go and get me dangerous clothes. This weekend. This is not a choice. We have to.”
Things that I learned in the last week that “tough girls” do:
– they don’t care whether or not their clothes are pretty, they just wear what they want
– they wear dark colors
Originally, I decided to take Katie to Hot Topic because I read her desire as a cross between goth and punk. However, Hot Topic has turned almost entirely over to character clothing, and while I literally teared up that she immediately honed in on Sailor Moon (one of Jenna and my favorites from college), while Max whimpered into my leg that the Walking Dead bobble heads were scary, nothing they had was the right size. So, I took her to Justice for the very first time… remembering that moment when I first saw the store from across the way, at The Children’s Place, and never imagined my wee babe would be old enough to shop there.
Katie immediately honed in on a mannequin wearing distressed, paint-splattered jeans. They were cute, I have to say, but I believe this would qualify as the very first time that: a) we tried something on in a dressing room for a reason other than “for giggles” (we had to see if they actually fit), and b) I have bought my kid something marketed as “premium denim.” Then, she picked out this army jacket that was the couture version of the (real) army jacket I wore like religion in high school. MY KID HAS HIT MY HIGH SCHOOL STYLE AT 6. No lie, I teared up right there in the store.
Eventually we did hit The Children’s Place, where she also bought camouflage leggings, black studded leggings, a vinyl black laser-cut skirt, two black sweaters (one with jewel buttons and one with “Love” in multicolored embroidery), and a black shirt with a Santa skull from the boys’ section (where I had to explain to her that buying from a certain section of the store doesn’t make you look like the gender that side is marketed to).
Since then, she has also asked me to paint her nails black (although she asked for shiny), and described herself as “goth”, which I am sure she got from hearing me try to describe her style to a sales associate. Based on the fact that she still has epic tantrums, I think she’s far punkier than goth. :D
Max: “If you give me tees, I’ll give you a hundred dollars.”
Me: “Honey, I don’t want you to give me your money.”
Max: “I won’t give you my money, I’ll get it by doing a lot of jobs.”
When I was talking to a person I’ve known for upwards of 20 years last month, I said something to him about how it must be odd to know someone as long as we’ve known each other and see that person go through so many rites of passage — college, marriage, kids. I made a comment about how the longer I’m alive, the more I understand a lot of context around the adults of my youth that I didn’t have back then, and how much more I respect the elder people around me (although to be fair, I’ve always thought that the older generations were pretty fantastic).
I feel essentially the same in my mid/late-30s that I felt in my early 20s. There is a sadness, though, and an appreciation, that I didn’t have before… that I can link directly to the number of sad or tragic things that have happened to/around me since I’ve aged. (I guess I could also correlate it with the happy things that have happened, as well…) And let me be totally clear — I have not had an abnormal amount of things happen around me on either side of the coin, I’m pretty much a statistical average on either side. The longer we’re alive, the more we, all of us, experience these crushingly sad things. I keep expecting that something magical will happen to make me into the person that I’ve always assumed that older people are, when the real realization is that older people ALSO feel this way — that myth of adulthood is really totally a myth. It makes me wonder how everyone who is older than I am is managing to stay upright under the weight of their (totally normal, average, but cumulative) pasts.
I should have titled this post, “Oh hey, look, another session of online navel gazing from someone who should know better.” Essentially, here’s the major shit I’ve learned in my life.
1: There’s no point in being alive. I don’t mean that in any depressing way; I just mean that we’re just a happy accident of evolution. Let’s use our intellect to not be a bunch of assholes and instead attempt to leave everything better than it was when we got here.
2: Love everyone you can while you have a chance, because people are amazing (see #1), but they’re fleeting.
3: #1 and #2 are NOT EASY THINGS.
I finally decided to get hearing aids for my tinnitus and they are making me 300% less of an asshole at the end of the day, since I am less aware of the ongoing assault on my brain by three goddamn tones of awful in increasing intensity as the day goes on. That sentence needs help, but there it is.
However, these are not my final pair, and going through the process of getting the right ones is starting to be as irritating as the tinnitus. The place ordered top-of-the-line aids (these things are expensive as hell, good lord) and it only took one day of wearing them to know that like my audiologist found, I have better-than-normal hearing accompanied with frequency-specific hypersensitive hearing and thus I do NOT NEED AMPLIFICATION. So.
10/16: Get new aids that are way too fancy (Resound Verso 7). Decide to try one program with low amplification just in case, and then masking programs on the other channels.
10/21: Tell him about my experience and find out that the guy didn’t mute them when he added the masking in, which explains why every time my kids came near me I almost slapped them because they were making me deaf. Teach the guy how to mute the mics, tell him I want to downgrade.
10/28: Add new programs and talk about how I need to downgrade. I give him some models to look at, he says he’ll order the Resound 5s and some Widex with Zen programming.
11/6: Find out that he couldn’t get 5s with masking and that Zens were way too expensive, and he didn’t look at any other brands. We look up online together and find that the issue is that he is trying to stick with RIC when I am fine with mini BTE. Sigh internally.
11/13: Hopefully this process will be over?
Honestly, though, they are helping a lot, and they are very unobtrusive. The only downside is that by the end of the day I have to use louder masks, which means that I can’t hear my kids as well when they whine/cry from their rooms, so Brandon has to tell me. (Is that bad? Or a bonus?)
Alison: young lady in an old lady’s body.
I somehow totally left this in drafts instead of posting it. :( Sorry, K-bug! So, here it is, a month late!
Katie. Girlfriend is something else. She is now in Kindergarten and constantly amazing me with her intelligence and her maturity/stubbornness/emotional behavior, in turn. She can ride a two-wheel bike! (I have no idea if I blogged this but she picked up that skill early in the summer.)
– Katie is not the kid who is going to ever cling to us when going into a new situation. She’s already declared me “embarrassing” on many occasions, belying her years. (If she only knew what was coming…) She’s finally letting us kiss her on the face (for a really long time we were only allowed to kiss the top of her head) but she will really only cuddle when she is sleepy or doesn’t feel well.
– She loves to lead, to help other kids follow the rules, and to be first.
– If you don’t know better, she will play dumb and pull one over on you HARD in terms of following rules. For example: her teacher thought she really didn’t understand that “only teachers print from the computers, not children” … until I clarified for her that no, Katie understood EXACTLY what she was doing, because she is very computer literate. So, she’s generally manipulative, and intelligent enough to get away with it.
– Katie is her mother’s daughter: sassy, opinionated, stubborn, and easily distracted. She has a very hard time focusing in most of her classes unless we do excessive prep in advance. She also loves to sing (but certainly not to listen to ME sing) and I think she can’t wait to read, considering how much she tries when given the opportunity.
– TV/movies/screen are her weakness. She behaves worse when a screen is on in her presence because getting her attention is nigh impossible.
– She is TALL. She’s the height of a 7yo!
– She is an accomplished liar.
– She’s boy crazy, already. She doesn’t really care about whether or not they want to be her boyfriend, she will declare who she is going to marry (it seems to go between Jonathan, Griffin, and Knut, a boy in her class). And of course, she and Max are going to marry each other.
– She steals our change and puts it in her piggy bank. (We are on to you, missy!)
The Yearly Quiz!
What’s your name? Katie Sonderegger Marie Katherin Rhodes Bellach Awesome Bug Punkin Moon Wakeup Milkies From When I Was A Baby. [laugh]
What’s your favorite color? Y-e-l-l-o-w and r-e-d.
Who are your best friends? Jonathan and Max. Lyla, Mia, Audrey Frankenstein [Einstein] — she’s Eleanor’s sister. [Anybody else?] Riley, Sophie, Tyler, M-o-m-m-y, D-a-d-d-y, Auntie Ava, Uncle Shane, Uncle Josh, and Auntie Caroline.
What is your favorite book? Bob books.
What is your favorite song? Let It Go! [Anything else?] Wreck It Ralph!
What is your favorite movie? Frozen. Wreck It Ralph. The Falling Chance of Meatballs.
What is your favorite TV show? Curious George.
What is your favorite animal? Um, bunny. A bunny rabbit.
What’s your favorite food? Ice cream!
What’s your yuckiest food? Poop.
What’s your favorite restaurant? The Spaghetti Factory.
What’s your favorite store? Toys R Us.
What’s your favorite game? Mermaid Mansion. [Mermaid Island.] The mansion part is a kind of mermaid club.
Do you have a favorite clothing item, and PJs? My new batgirl halloween costume. [The one from last year?] BATgirl. [You don't have that yet.] When it comes! [We never even ordered one!] Well, I wanted one! [What are the favorite clothes that you have actually have?] Spidergirl!
What is your favorite word? Y-e-l-l-o-w. Wait, I don’t want that word, I want a different word. My favorite word is zing! Mermaid mansion!
What makes you mad? When Daddy yells at me.
What’s your favorite toy? Mermaid Mansion. Actually, the bubbles.
What do you want to do when you grow up? I want to be, um, hm. Let’s see. Hm. A veterinarian, I think. [Why?] Because, I’m not quite sure what I want to be when I grow up just quite yet, because I think I know what I want to be, I think I am going to know what I want to be when I grow up.
What’s your favorite sport? Let’s see. Ice skating. [Have you ever actually ice skated?] No, and also my favorite sport is hockey, baseball also. Soccer.
What’s your favorite thing at school? Me time. [What's me time?] When you get to cool down. [Like a rest?] When you get to cool down from the hot day and you get to take a moment for yourself.
If you could go on an airplane anywhere, where would you go? To Hawaii! I mean to the place where you can see the Statue of Liberty.
What are 3 words that describe you? Pretty, beautiful, smart, funny, cute. [Is that three?] And nipple.
When you were little, you used to: Poop in my diapers. [Anything else?] Suck on my thumb and drink from your nipples. I meant boobs. I meant nipples. Erase the boob. [Thank you, honey!] I’m not done! So, I also used to play with play dough, wear a really cute birthday hat while I was playing with the play dough, and that’s all I can really remember.
Katie went to her pediatric dentist on Monday with Brandon and she took x-rays to see where the permanent teeth were in relation to the ones that were knocked awry. One was right behind the one that was knocked out, and near the one next to it, so hopefully it wasn’t negatively impacted. They ended up giving her nitrous and then a couple of novocaine shots and then pulling them, so she has a huge hole in her mouth now. The funniest part, to me, is that she realizes that her vampire tooth is showing on one side, so she asked me to pull the other tooth that was there so she was a true vampire. Hee.
I’m glad that she is such a trooper. I really wanted to cuddle the heck out of her to comfort her (read: me) and we did have one great day of snuggles, but this is the kiddo who doesn’t generally like being held (after she’s done crying, or when she’s not trying to pull something over on her bro). So, seeing her return to a state of normality is good.
And, she had two visits from the tooth fairy in as many days! Woo!
Katie teethed pretty late — so did Max. I was under the impression that she would hit most teething milestones late as a result, so it was surprising when she started losing teeth a bit on the early side; she’d lost all four of the front bottom teeth by 6. However, she had no loose teeth, so we didn’t think we’d be seeing the tooth fairy for a while around here.
Today was Riley and Tyler’s birthday party at Pump It Up. I was working with Max when I saw Katie come down off the big slide crying. As I made my way over to her, I saw her face contorted, and then I realized she was bleeding, and then Brandon was there and he picked her up and her teeth were bloody and there was like, a hole, and then Brandon picked her up and handed me something and I was like, what the hell is this? A tooth in my hand?
The guy who worked there (Sean) was trying to explain to me what happened but Katie was HOWLING so we went out to the front and Max handily disappeared and this woman was asking me if she was okay but I was only noticing that I was holding a tooth and that Brandon had my bleeding, screaming child in his lap. He told me that the incisor on the left (well, her left) of the hole was super loose and most likely would fall out, and the other front tooth was loose as well, but not as much.
After asking a third time, I finally found out what happened — a boy ran full-tilt up the slide while Katie was coming down, and since she was wearing socks per their rules, she couldn’t slow down, and he slammed his face into her mouth and knocked her tooth out. I called our dentist, put a call into the emergency dentist covering, and he called me back. As I expected, the dentist said that since they were all baby teeth, there was no need to attempt to save any of them; the one that was out was out, and there was a likelihood that the sockets could firm up around the loose ones (although with the way that Katie was worrying the incisor, I think that one is going to fall out).
I held Katie while Brandon went to go get some meds, and the PIU people took a report and also brought her some ice cream. Her teeth… her gums. Just awful, awful. I sent the dentist some pics of the tooth and her gums to ensure that everything was okay and he said that I needed to call our normal dentist on Monday but that otherwise he thinks things are okay. The mom of the kid looked like she was crying (and it turns out she was), she was very attentive and making sure that things were okay and I spent some time talking to her about how it was just an accident, that Katie was going to be okay, and I joked around with her son a bit, teasing him about how he must have a skull made of Adamantium because he only had one small cut and bump. I could tell she was grateful and I felt that it made up for the daze I had been in up to that point.
Kid accidents are awful. Katie is being very sweet and wonderful about it (she is making very funny comments about how she thinks she sounds funny now) but in my head I see her face when it happens and how much she was hurting and it makes me cry. I feel badly that it happened at my niece and nephew’s birthday party, too.
The tooth fairy is gonna drop a $20 on that baby, fo’ sho’.
(Max eventually came out crying when B was still getting meds because a kid kicked him in the head and I had two bawling babies in my lap and it was very sad. But, otherwise, he was excellent and made space for his sister when she really needed attention. He’s a good kiddo.)